the next thing you know—the day is over, just. like….

that. 

24 hours. 

i was asked yesterday by someone about how i felt about turning 26, and i realized that i was a little bit frightened. 

i feel like with every year that passes, i am finding my mommy becoming more and more part of my past and it’s disconcerting. of course, i think about my mom everyday, there is always something that reminds me of her. but it’s scary when people ask me when she passed and the length of time is getting longer and longer. 

i still feel like it happened yesterday.

and with me getting older, and creating more memories that i can’t really experience with her—i realize that time is taking over.

i have changed so much since that fateful day. i find myself to be more impulsive, less stressed out about things that don’t really matter in the end, i have become more compassionate, and i also find that instead of sitting in my room wishing for adventure—i am more likely to just go out and seize it. 

i am grateful for that. i am grateful to have seen another year of life, and i look forward to seeing what is in store. so many other people don’t get this chance, so i won’t waste it. 

but i can’t help but be a bit sad that 25 is over. 

i will carry my mom with me until the end of time. whether it’s been 1 year or 50—she will always be with me. 

regardless of age.

so…happy birthday to me, i guess. :)

i’m going to smile.